October 18th, 2010 by admin

It’s all in a day’s work when a client asks me to do something completely over the top. In fact, sometimes I feel weird if I’m doing something on the normal spectrum of sexuality. Today I got to thinking about insertions. If I’m alone, horny, and not scheduled to meet anyone that day I really like pulling out my favorite glass dildo and enjoying myself. If you want a hot mental image of that to get you through your day, take a look at this video:

You, Me And Big Beautiful Glass Dildo brought to you by PornHub

My technique is a bit different from this delicious masturbating amateur, but she certainly shares the same taste in toys as I do. I especially like the look she gets on her face when she knows she’s about to have a toe curling, body shaking orgasm, but she tries to hold it off to prolong her pleasure. Hot hot hot!

While I personally enjoy some low key self-stimulation, it’s not surprising that some of the guys I meet up with have some very specific and rather pussy harrowing ideas on what should go in my vagina. Thankfully kegels saves the day for me after these insertions, that and scheduling the small dick dudes the day after!

3. Vegetables….in the ass. I had actually showed up expecting a low-key, girlfriend experience kind of encounter. At least, that’s what the guy said he wanted when I set up the meeting with him. Apparently my ass just screams “put a salad in me” because this guy got an instant boner and ran for his fridge. It was pretty fucking bizarre until I saw him coming out with the veggies. Of course then he pops the thickest cucumber I’ve ever seen in my ass to get me started. It reminded me of this video I saw, featuring an amateur housewife named Wendy.

Wendy’s Bizarre Anal Veggies Insertions brought to you by PornHub

Wendy had the same anal vegetable treatment that I did, although it looks like this adventurous wife was expecting it. She offers up her ass to sample the vegetable platter that this guy has handy for her.

2. Popsicles. Now I know you’re sitting there thinking, “Oh that sounds pretty common, why’s that on the list?” Well let me sit here and tell you exactly why it’s on the list. Have you ever sat there and put ice cubes on your balls for a fun time? No? Well imagine that ice cube going up inside of you! I do enjoy some temperature play from time to time, hell I do it with my glass dildo when I get a chance. But half the time I worry about getting pussy frostbite before the guy is done with me.

Of course you hear me complaining about it, but it looks like that exhibitionist Wendy is at it again. She’s popsicling herself, letting her pussy warm up the treat and getting a wet and sugary trail all over her fuckhole. She certainly seems to be enjoying herself, so maybe I need to build up my pussy’s cold tolerance to see if I can enjoy it the next time a client comes after me with a fistful of freeze pops.

1. Fucking machine. Many of the guys I meet with could be considered rich, but these guys generally don’t have a lot of special sex equipment sitting around. That makes it way harder to hide their clandestine activities from their wives. One guy, however, couldn’t give a fuck less about what his gold digger found out. He had a full setup, I’m talking total sex dungeon with everything you could ever want, including the one thing that my over-sexed self never got to try before – a fucking machine. I swear, he had an honest to god fucking machine setup and I got drawn to it like a moth to fire. I found a video that shows the exact model of machine I ended up using, since it wasn’t a Sybian or one I knew the name to.

Horny Micah Moore Squirts All Over Fucking Machines brought to you by PornHub

Micah Moore underwent the same treatment that I did, with a sex machine that just doesn’t quit. It more than made up for all the two pump chumps that I’ve fucked over the years, whether for business or my personal life. I really wanted to take that fucking machine home, but alas, I’m left with just the hot memories.